


What If

by pandorasv13



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Swallowing hard, Henry stared down at the man who sat on the floor, holding his bruised cheek. “Get out.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What If

Henry never thought he would do this, but somehow it happened. There was a stinging sensation in his hand, but he ignored it. His eyes were burning with tears and his lips trembled with unspoken words. Swallowing hard, Henry stared down at the man who sat on the floor, holding his bruised cheek. “Get out.”

“I live here,” the man looked up, eyes black and subdued.

“Not anymore,” Henry whispered, sobbing openly at that point. Covering his face, he dropped to the ground, knees pulled up to chest. “I’m telling you to g-get out!”

“You already punched me, if you’re still not happy; then hit me more. Yell at me. Do something. But don’t say you want me to leave.” He crawled forward, reaching out for his lover. “Look…you’re crying so much,” his voice was soft, fingers brushed Henry’s arm.

“Don’t touch me with those filthy hands!”

The man froze. “They aren’t filthy, Henry,” he responded calmly, “You love me. You’re just angry right now.”

Shaking his head, Henry scooted further away, pointing at the door. “Please…just leave, Donghae. I don’t love you.” Crying harder, he held himself tighter.

With a sigh, he stood up and walked towards the door. “Fine. I’ll see you at work.”

Henry continued sobbing as the resounding click and slamming of the door filled his ears. From behind, he felt warm arms collect his body, cradling him closely. Grabbing for anything, he found a t-shirt and held on tightly, burying his face in someone’s smooth, strong neck.

“It’s alright, Henry,” Siwon murmured, rubbing his back gently, “We’re all here for you.”

Bedroom doors opened one by one and slowly people began stepping out to check on the situation. All of them had been listening closely, interested but unsure how to help. Hell, Henry didn’t even know what to do with himself. The entire situation was wrong and terrible.

Sungmin knelt down before the younger male, stroking his hair slowly. “Siwon’s right. Don’t worry all by yourself. We should all go drinking and get our minds off of this.”

“What about D-Donghae?” he mumbled, hiccupping and nuzzling closer to his hyung. In turn, Siwon held him closer, placing random little kisses on the boy’s forehead and hair. Henry whimpered, feeling like a child for the first time in a long time. This wasn’t how he normally was. In reality, he was a strong character, if not passionate. Alright, so he could be a little immature and sensitive at times…but he didn’t cry to other people, especially his fellow band members.

Sungmin wiped the tears from one of Henry’s cheeks, those smooth fingers feeling nice against his heated cheeks. “C’mon, cheer up! We’re all going to make you feel better, so please stop crying.” Looking over at Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, he saw the smaller male was crying and tightly hugging a somewhat exasperated looking Kyuhyun. “Henry-ah, you made Ryeowook cry because he sees how sad you are,” Sungmin cooed, smiling softly.

Frowning, Henry burrowed further into Siwon, taking deep breaths. “Mm…,” he whined, “G-Gimme a few seconds.”

“You better be serious when you say that,” Kyuhyun half-growled, still comforting his long time boyfriend. “Donghae isn’t someone you should cry over.” Leaning close to Ryeowook’s ear, he whispered something that made the small man giggle a little.

Henry finally felt his tears slow and his throat grow raw. Releasing his death grip on Siwon, he took several slow, calming breaths and rubbed his swollen eyes.

 

***

 

“Shit, do violinists have muscles like that?” Eunhyuk questioned, cleaning the bleeding bruise on Donghae’s cheek. “He really should’ve aimed somewhere else. The stylists are gonna freak.”

Eyes cast down, Donghae shrugged off the question. “They have muscles like that when they pop and freestyle dance.” Picking at his fingernails, he clenched and unclenched his hands, unable to untie the knot that had formed in his stomach. “…Mistakes can be forgiven, right?”

Eunhyuk was quiet at first, contemplating what he should say. Tossing the cotton swab in the trash, he capped the rubbing alcohol and grabbed ointment. “That depends…you slept with someone else. People don’t forgive and forget that easily.”

“But I was drunk and it only happened once. In fact, it happened a month ago. It shouldn’t mean a thing! He’s blowing this all out of proportion.”

“Or maybe you’re defending yourself because you’re stubborn and don’t want to admit that you did something stupid,” Eunhyuk grunted, placing a band-aid over the cleaned and medicated wound.

Donghae clicked his tongue. “But—”

“—think,” His friend interrupted, retrieving an icepack from the freezer, “what if you found out Henry slept with someone else?”

A sharp pain jolted his heart and he stayed silent.

Eunhyuk nodded firmly, holding the cold, cloth wrapped item to the male. “Imagine what he’s feeling after learning that you let someone else see you in that way. He’s probably upset because he thought you would only ever be intimate with him, but then there you go, getting involved with someone else.”

“…just tell me that he’ll forgive me,” Donghae sighed, mouth a tight line as he glowered hatefully at something far off. 

“Honestly, bro,” he sat down across the table from the other male, “If I was him, I wouldn’t forgive you. Fucking someone else and using alcohol as your excuse? Henry was being nice by just punching you.”

Donghae closed his eyes briefly. “I’m gonna try talking to him again. I don’t want him doing something stupid.”

“Like sleeping with someone else to get back at you?”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he snapped, hand already on the dorm’s front door.

“That’s pretty useless.” Donghae turned around at the sound of someone else’s voice. At the end of the hall, Heechul was standing and holding his cat. Shrugging, the oldest of the three said, “Just got a text from Siwon saying that they’re all going drinking. That dorm is so much more fun than ours,” he muttered the last part, frowning and going back to his room.

Eunhyuk exchanged a look with Donghae. “…well, I guess you were right. I shouldn’t have joked about that.” Getting up from the table, he walked down the hallway and back to his own room.

Staring at the door for a long minute, Donghae finally sat back down at the table, head slamming down on the wooden surface.

 

There were two ways that night could’ve ended.

 

Henry took another shot, vision already beginning to blur. Across the way, he saw bodies grinding and sweating all over the dance floor. With a giggle, he got up from the table where his friends were and headed out there.

At first, they tried to stop him, but then realized Henry wouldn’t back down that night. He had just been betrayed by someone he loved. They might as well give him something to do – even if it was stupid. Besides, most of them were pissed at Donghae after the eavesdropping session.

Large hands snaked around Henry’s hips, massaging his body to the beat of the heavy bass. Hot breath rushed over his skin, and then he was grinding back against the stranger. Closing his eyes, he smiled a little, relishing in the childish feelings of revenge. From the feel of it, he could tell the man pressed up against his backside was getting a little too comfortable.

Was that how Donghae had felt when he hit on a woman? Did he get aroused? Did he touch her like this man was touching Henry?

Turning around, he crashed their lips together, panting hard as he felt tears streaming down his face again. The man kissed him back hungrily, fingers digging into his skin and rumpled shirt. Moaning softly at the rough shudders rolling through him, Henry pressed harder against the male’s crotch, creating as much pleasurable friction as he could without taking clothes off.

“Damn, you sure you love Donghae?” a familiar voice chuckled.

Henry blinked, focusing on the slightly obscured face of the man he was flush against. “H-Hyung?” he called over the loud music, eyes widening.

“You didn’t even know who I was?” Jungmo scoffed, tipping the boy’s chin up. “Well, that’s okay. I guess it doesn’t matter, hmm?”

 

Donghae stared at the picture Heechul had drawn to illustrate the situation. “Well that doesn’t seem likely,” he snapped, frowning at the crude drawings of Jungmo and his lover dancing together.

“What makes you so positive?” Heechul argued. “There’s a definite possibility. Haven’t you seen the tweets they exchange?”

“That hardly means they’re gonna end up going home together tonight,” he growled.

Eunhyuk stepped out the bathroom, saw the situation, and sighed, retreating to his own bedroom.

Grumbling noisily to himself, Heechul erased the mini white board’s drawings. “Fine, let’s try this again.”

 

Or two…

 

“I really don’t want to be here,” Henry muttered, playing with the water in front of him. Next to him, the rest of his band mates were getting waste or otherwise eyeing people to grind on later. He thought they were all there to make him feel better, but apparently it really was just an excuse to go party hard.

In the corner, Kyuhyun was practically tearing Ryeowook’s clothes off. And the others were already making plans to get on the dance floor, all of them with targets.

Henry awkwardly shifted around in his seat, eyes scanning the area once more. To his left, he suddenly saw a familiar face leaning closer to him. “S-Siwon-hyung?” he mumbled.

“I’ve always thought you were cute…among everyone else,” the older male admitted, “but Donghae claimed you so quickly. I didn’t know what to do but just give up. Heechul and Hangeng already had one another, so it was just a mess. But…but now that Donghae is gone, that means I don’t have to feel guilty about doing this.”

Before the younger male could say anything, lips were pressing against his and strong arms were wrapping around him. Feeling oddly warm, Henry melted into the embrace, returning the kiss with a mixture of pain and relief.

 

Donghae grabbed the board, chucking it out the open window. “These are both stupid!” he shouted.

“You’re obviously in denial,” Heechul retorted, crossing his arms over chest. “But whatever, I was just trying to be helpful.” He shrugged and let the room, grabbing his cat on the way out. “If you’re freaking out this much though, then just go see what’s up for real.”

For a long moment, Donghae stubbornly refused to move. That didn’t last long though. In a matter of minutes, he was out the door and running to the other dormitory. Quickly, he unlocked the door and burst inside, praying that Henry would be there.

Immediately, he found the boy.

“What…,” Donghae breathed, gazing at his lover who sat in his pajamas on the sofa. A sappy romance movie was playing on the television, and a bag of chips rested near him.

Henry wiped his teary eyes rapidly. “Why are you here? I told you to get out. I meant for you to stay out,” he barked, covering up his sniffling by blowing his nose into a tissue.

“I thought you went clubbing.”

“I got down the stairs and then…,” he lowered his gaze, not wanting to recount the absolute break down he had before they even exited the building. Henry pulled the couch blanket tighter around himself, not meeting Donghae’s stare.

The latter slowly walked closer, not daring to take his eyes off the precious boy curled up on the cushions. “It was a mistake…please don’t go and grind on Jungmo,” he blurted.

Henry cocked an eyebrow. “Why would I do that?”

Another step. “Even if Siwon says you’re cute, he’s just lonely and needy.”

“What are you talking about?”

Donghae leaned over the couch, hands on either side of his lover. Lips trembling, he dropped his head, speaking just barely above a whisper, “Don’t take revenge…please?”

Henry sighed, utterly confused at that point. Scooting away from the older male, he said, “I wouldn’t be able to get revenge anyway. I can’t stop what I feel for you. Isn’t that obvious?” He fiddled with his hands beneath the blanket, “I can’t forgive you either.”

A stifled noise dared to come from Donghae. Silence followed, but not for long. On the contrary, he pulled back and sat down on the floor by Henry’s occupied seat. Reaching underneath the blanket, he found the boy’s hand. “Okay,” he murmured, lacing their fingers slowly, “while we’re apart, don’t cheat on me?”

Henry made a face, laughing very quietly. “That makes no sense.”

“You’re in love with me, right? Even if we aren’t officially dating, it would still be cheating.”

Deciding not to argue, the younger male gently ran his thumb over Donghae’s knuckles. “Mm…I’ll miss you.”

He wanted to say that they could just forget everything and be together. But then he felt the tremors in the boy’s hand. He was scared. Donghae had scared him that badly? Thinking back on their fight earlier, maybe he hadn’t reacted well. Being calm wasn’t the best course of action. Shaking away those thoughts, he just squeezed their held hands tighter, hoping for time to pass quicker.


	2. Over Time

“Are you sure they’re really broken up?”

“Well, that’s what they keep saying.”

Ryeowook looked over at the two figures sitting together on a chair. It didn’t appear very comfortable crammed into such a small space, but neither of them was moving. “I don’t know…,” he muttered, brow furrowing.

“Even if they are back together, just leave it alone,” Eunhyuk sighed, “If anything, it’s just Donghae trying to do what he’s been trying to do since they split.”

“We people watching?” Kyuhyun pushed in between them, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Ryeowook nodded, slowly peeling away the skin of the banana in his hand. “Yeah, we think Donghae and Henry are dating again.”

“It looks more like Donghae is trying to get with Henry,” he snorted. “Haven’t you seen how much fan service he’s been doing recently? Pretty obvious,” Kyuhyun chomped down on Ryeowook’s snack, winking as he walked away.

Frowning deeper, the slender young man sighed and turned his attention away from the fruit. “Kyuhyun’s right. They have been getting more touchy-feely since we started SJ-M promotions.”

“Why do you keep saying that Henry is part of this?” Eunhyuk cocked an eyebrow. “It really feels more one-sided, in my opinion.”

“If it was one-sided, why is Henry the one who’s sitting behind Donghae?”

The older male shrugged. “Donghae probably forced his way into that seat and so Henry had to back up. It still proves my point.”

 

“Why do they keep watching us?” Henry muttered close to the older man’s ear.

Their performance was still playing on the laptop screen, flashing here and there with color. Donghae side glanced at him but shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe they’re jealous that we’re hogging the computer?”

“They have their own computers,” he argued, slinging an arm around his hyung.

Donghae absently reached up, closing his hand around the pale one hanging over his chest. “Well you know, Eunhyuk and Ryeowook are pretty weird. It’s normal for them to be creeping on the rest of us.”

“Huh, I guess you’re right,” Henry agreed easily. He tilted his head when he felt that warm hand around his own. Carefully, he tried to loosen it, only to find that Donghae refused to let go. “Hae…?”

“It’s more comfortable this way,” he said quickly, “just stay where you are.”

Henry didn’t seem to notice the undertones and simply stayed where he was. It had been a year since they broke up and things had gone back to normal – or at least, in his mind everything had gone back to normal. They could be in the same room without getting awkward and they could talk about life like friends again. Henry wouldn’t have had it any other way.

 

***

 

“A little desperate, don’t you think?”

Donghae looked up from his laptop, eyes focusing on Eunhyuk. “What?” he sat up straighter, removing one of his ear buds.

Closing the door behind him, the visitor walked over to the desk chair, slouching down in it. “You know what I’m talking about,” Eunhyuk rolled his eyes, looking around in case there was anyone who could possibly be eavesdropping. “You’ve been all over Henry since we got to China. I don’t think I’ve been able to go online without seeing photos of you grabbing his hand or standing next to him, or even that whole snuggle session you had going on while watching our performance.” Eunhyuk shuddered, “It’s already all over the internet. Netizens are flipping a shit.”

“You’re crazy,” he dismissed, laughing nervously.

“Really? You’re gonna lie to me?” his best friend’s mouth quirked up in annoyance. “Bro, I’ve known you for too long. Don’t even try. What’re you trying to do?”

Donghae sighed loudly, pushing his laptop aside. Pristinely, he laced his fingers together and slowly let his shoulders rise and fall. “I’m just…wooing him,” he said each word carefully.

“Does he know that you’re ‘wooing’ him?” Eunhyuk questioned.

“Well, maybe,” Donghae stated curiously, “Knowing Henry, he’s probably oblivious.”

“Coming from you, the dopey king, I can’t imagine how dense our maknae is.”

“Hey!”

“You’re going to deny being a dope?” Eunhyuk grinned.

He didn’t reply.

“Anyway,” the skinny man grunted, “You should be straight with him. He probably just thinks that you guys are bros again. I doubt he even realized that you’re trying to get him to like you again.”

“He never stopped liking me,” Donghae corrected softly.

“Be that as it may, he probably doesn’t think of you like that anymore,” Eunhyuk said blatantly, “whether or not he’s in love with you. It’s been a long time and he’s probably finally recovered from your break up.”

Donghae made a face, looking down hard at his hands. “I don’t know how to tell him anything anymore. It’s not like before.”

“Suck it up and confront him,” he deadpanned.

“When—”

“—Now,” Eunhyuk stood up, grabbing Donghae by the arm and dragging him out into the hallway. Without waiting for any arguments, he pushed his friend towards Henry’s bedroom door, turning and walking away.

Donghae opened his mouth to stop him, but it was already too late as he watched Eunhyuk’s bedroom door shut. “Damn,” he muttered, heaving a sigh and looking back to the wooden barrier.

What was he supposed to say?

Slowly, Donghae lifted his hand up, pressing knuckles against the surface. Just before knocking, he stopped, heart skipping a beat when he heard Henry laughing. Pressing his ear against the door, Donghae listened in.

“Sorry hyung, I’ll bring you back something from China.”

There was a slightly muffled voice that replied, “Ah, don’t forget, Henry! I’m sad when my pet isn’t around.”

Pet? Donghae grimaced.

“Okay, okay,” Henry laughed, “I’ll be back to visit you before I go back to Canada.”

“Alright, I’ll look forward to it.”

“Goodnight, Jungmo-hyung. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Sleep well.”

Donghae collapsed against the door, eyes wide open. The only problem was that the door wasn’t fully closed and it soon slid out, sending him fumbling into the room. Catching himself, Donghae scrambled back to his feet, looking over to where Henry was sitting in bed.

“Hyung?” the boy blinked, surprised. The tablet in his hands was pushed aside and then he was kicking his legs over the edge of the bed. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” he nodded quickly, smiling and fluffing his hair uncomfortably. “Were you talking to someone just now?”

Faint color stained Henry’s face and Donghae could feel spikes in his heart. “Yeah…Jungmo-hyung. He was video chatting to see how I was doing.”

“Oh…I got you,” he forced a smile. Donghae met Henry’s eyes for a brief moment. “How long have you two been together?”

The latter fiddled with his hands. “Five months.”

“That’s…good,” Donghae smiled wider, burying his feelings deeper. “I hope things keep going well for you two.” He reached out softly, gently ruffling Henry’s hair. “…Tell me if you ever need anything. Night.”

Henry stopped him with a question. “Thanks, Hae, but why did you come here tonight?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to watch a movie with everyone, but I think all of us decided against it,” Donghae laughed, “So I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, okay, good night then,” Henry responded, waving faintly as he watched the door close with a quiet click.

 

Silence swallowed the room. Shifting around on the bed, he picked up the tablet again, eyes skimming over the home screen. With a sweep of his finger, Henry pulled up his minimized browser, smiling slightly at newly released photos on a social media site.

 

They were gifs and images of all of them at their various promotional activities. He scrolled down, pausing at a particular photo of Donghae reaching out and taking his hand. They were sitting on a stage, clasped hands swinging softly.

Henry smiled, eyes lowered over the moving image, lips parting ever so slightly…


End file.
